Things to Include in a Funeral Order of Service
Planning a funeral can be an emotional minefield. It’s not a task that anyone ever gets to do when they have a clear frame of mind – it’s nearly always a task done during a considerable emotional upheaval.
This is why many people will rely heavily on the guidance from their chosen funeral home. They might even choose a template funeral service that doesn’t really dig too deeply into the life of their loved one.
After the funeral, once the fallout of the loss has settled, it’s common for families to feel that they have failed their loved one in some way. By not personalising the service, it can feel like you haven’t really had a chance to say goodbye in a way that feels authentic to your family.
It’s also common for the funeral to pass by in a blur, and families might struggle to remember the details.
To avoid this, it’s important to try to engage with the funeral planning process. Rather than leaving it to the professionals to work from a template and fill in the blanks, you can take control of the funeral planning process so that you can create an order or service that is a fitting tribute to your loved one.
What is the order of service?
The order of service is a printed guide that includes the schedule and plans for the funeral. It might include things like:
- A schedule for the event, including readings, hymns, poems, prayers, readings and other tributes.
- Personal details about your loved one, including a short biography and photographs.
- The words for any poems, hymns, readings or eulogies.
- Music included in the ceremony, including entrance music and exit music.
- Details about any further events, such as a wake or reception.
- Information about where to direct donations, or other fundraising activity that might be happening.
- A thank you or acknowledgment section.
The order of service could be very limited, only spanning a few pages, or it could be a more extensive document. Many people like to keep the order of service as a lasting memory of the deceased. While it might be a sad occasion, lots of people like to keep these memories as they provide a simple way to reflect.
What should you include in your order of service?
If you are leaving this task to your funeral director, they are likely to cover the basics. You’ll need to provide additional information and context if you would like to personalise this further.
They will ask you for your planned schedule for the day. This will include things like speeches, hymns, poems and other readings. You can include information about who will deliver these parts of the funeral, and how they are related to the deceased to provide extra context. An index at the start of the order of service will help to direct mourners to the correct pages.
It’s also a great idea to include a copy of the poems, hymns, prayers, readings and eulogies that are scheduled. Some people might not engage with this content at the time, but they will want to revisit this content at a later date. This is why it’s helpful to include these in the order of service.
You can also provide additional context about the person’s life. A short biography can help to fill in the gaps for some people who might not know everyone about the deceased. You can also include photographs to help turn the order to service into a keepsake item.
Finally, there are additional bits of information you might want to add. The order of service is a great way to direct donations to a charity of your choice, so you can include information about where to send donations in lieu of flowers. You might also include practical information about where the wake will be held and how to get there.
It’s also a good idea to acknowledge those who have helped to bring the funeral together at the end of the order of service. This can include details about flowers, transport, venues and funeral directors.
How long should the order of service be?
There aren’t any rules about how long this document needs to be. Your only consideration might be printing costs, as this could quickly add up if you are anticipating a lot of attendees and your order of service is very long. You can often reduce printing costs by reducing the number of full-colour pages and sticking to black and white text, if this is a concern.
You can provide as much or as little detail as you like. Some families prefer to have an online order of service where mourners can also share their own tributes and photographs.
Even if you have an online order of service, you should include something printed for the funeral service. This will help to avoid everyone using their phones during the service, which can be very distracting. You should also bear in mind that an online order of service might lead to some accessibility issues for attendees.
Final thoughts on the order of service
The order of service is a thoughtful addition to the funeral planning process. It can help to provide documentation of the event, so that individuals can refer to things that they found moving at a later date. It can help them to remember things like poems and songs that they found particularly moving.
The task of creating the order of service can be very stressful to some people, so it’s important to give this task to someone who is comfortable with the requirements. Rather than allowing one person to feel overwhelmed by the task, find someone in the family who feels comfortable taking on the role.
It’s also a good idea to ask another person to proofread the document before it goes to print, rather than relying on spell checkers. These can miss out potentially embarrassing or unfortunate typos that can distract from the seriousness of the day.