The Role of Music in Funerals: Choosing the Right Tribute
Music brings us together on a primal level and helps us to connect with one another. So it makes sense that music would play an important role in funeral planning. Music helps to evoke memories and emotions, while also conveying messages about our feelings.
The choice of music for a funeral might come easily to you, or you might spend hours deliberating over the choices. You’ll want to pick something that captures the emotion of the occasion, while also representing something that was meaningful for your loved one.
If you’re worried about the music choices for a funeral you are planning, don’t panic. In this guide, we’re exploring the role of music in the funeral proceedings and how to pick the perfect song for your loved one. We’ll also share some examples of popular funeral songs so that you have a starting point for your final selection.
Why music matters in funeral services
Music helps to keep the pace of the ceremony and signal the start and the end of the proceedings. Music can also fill silence, so that attendees can leave the ceremony in silence without feeling awkward and uncomfortable.
Music is also inherently moving and meaningful. It can convey messages and leave lasting memories, with the chosen songs being forever associated with the deceased.
Some people might say that certain songs can be “ruined” by being associated with the death of a loved one, but this often simply means that they cannot listen to the song without thinking about the departed. Eventually, the song will be bring positive memories again, it just takes some time before the heavy feelings of grief can move on.
Types of music commonly played at funerals
Funeral music is about more than just the entrance song and the exit song. There are also hymns that might be included as part of the ceremony. If an individual does not want to do a reading, they might sing a song to express their feelings.
While getting up to sing might be a terrifying prospect for some people, those who are confident in this area might feel more confident than giving a speech or a reading. Hymns are also popular as a way to bring everyone together in song. There is a sense of communal comfort in singing together, which is why songs are often included in the funeral order of service.
How to choose the right songs for a loved one
The choice of music for a funeral is completely down to those organising the event, but the venue might place restrictions on what you are allowed to play. While they might object to anything with very explicit lyrics, most songs will be permitted, provided they aren’t going to upset or offend anyone.
If your loved one had a sense of humour, they might have included a request for a certain song at the funeral that they hope might make people smile. Or they may simply want everyone to listen to a song that they loved in life.
If there are no specific requests, you might have to get creative. You don’t have to make a strong statement with your choice of funeral music. You could also choose a common funeral song that will simply fill the silence and allow everyone a moment of quiet reflection.
Live performances vs. recorded music
Recorded music will always be much easier to manage than a live performance, and most venues will be set up to handle recorded music requests. If you do choose recorded music, make sure you listen to the song in advance. The last thing you want is for the venue to play the wrong version of the song and be stuck listening to this in its entirety.
If you have talented musicians in your friends and family group, you might want to have a live performance before or after the ceremony. This can be an incredibly touching tribute, but bear in mind the additional pressure this places on performers, particularly if they are also grieving.
Rather than asking someone to play at the funeral, wait for the individual to offer. Also consider the logistics of staging the performance, and make sure this is cleared with the venue well in advance. There may be restrictions on musical performances due to short changeover times between events.
Involving family and friends in music selection
Friends and family might have some delightful insight to help you make a final selection. Perhaps they had a distant conversation with the deceased about their funeral song selection, or perhaps you have someone with extensive music knowledge to help guide the right choice.
If you have too many to choose from, you could make a playlist for the special day and share a link as part of the funeral invitation.
Examples of meaningful funeral songs
If you’re looking for a starting point for your search for the perfect funeral song, consider the following famous funeral selections. According to Co-Op funerals the following are the most popular funeral songs:
- Time to Say Goodbye by Sarah Brightman and Andrea Bocelli
- My Way by Frank Sinatra
- Supermarket Flowers by Ed Sheeran
- Wind Beneath My Wings by Bette Midler
- We'll Meet Again by Vera Lynn
- Somewhere Over The Rainbow by Eva Cassidy
- You'll Never Walk Alone by Gerry and The Peacemakers
- All Things Bright and Beautiful - Hymn
- Abide With Me - Hymn
- Dancing In The Sky by Dani and Lizzy
Creating a lasting memory through music
In some situations, it’s not a case of not knowing which song to choose, but instead you might struggle to narrow it down to just one or two songs. In this case, consider making a playlist for your loved one that you can share with attendees.
If your loved one was a music lover, attendees will appreciate the opportunity to explore their life through music. If you’re feeling particularly old school, you could even burn CDs or create a vintage mixtape of their favourite tracks.