Designing a Personalised Memorial Garden at Home
Looking for a touching way to pay tribute to your loved one after they have passed? Planting a memorial garden will not only give you a place to go and reflect on their impact on your life, but it can also be a highly cathartic task that can help you to process your grief.
Gardening is a highly effective way to keep busy and process complex emotions. Connecting with the earth is also thought to be highly therapeutic and can offer antidepressant effects.
With this in mind, we’re looking at the role of memorial gardens and how you can get started designing and building your own sacred space. We’ll go through the process of choosing a suitable space and popular plants to include in your garden to mark the loss of a loved one.
We’ll also look at ways you can create a memorial tribute you can keep with you in the form of ashes jewellery. If you’re ready to start building your memorial garden at home, keep reading!
The benefits of gardening for the grieving
Gardening is a mindful activity that requires you to nurture living things. This can help you to shift your focus away from your grief and towards healthier activities. Gardening can help to reduce stress associated with loss, while also giving you a renewed sense of purpose. You don’t have to create your garden all at once, and it will require ongoing maintenance and nurturing, which can help you to move through the stages of grief.
Finding a suitable spot for your memorial garden
The first step is to find a place for your garden. If you own your own property and have a garden, you might simply choose to dedicate a corner of the garden for your memorial space. This might be where you bury your loved one’s ashes or keep their urn.
If you are in rented accommodation, you might be reluctant to plant a permanent garden, as you won’t be able to take this with you when you leave. You could work around this by creating a large planter box that could be taken with you.
If you don’t have any outdoor space, you could create an indoor garden that will be just as effective for achieving your goals. It’s not about the size of the garden, but about the care and devotion you put into creating something beautiful.
The ideal plants for a memorial garden
It’s important to think carefully about the plants you place in a memorial garden. There are a few common issues that amateur gardeners might face.
- They choose plants that are difficult to care for, and then have to face the feelings of guilt and shame when plants in their memorial garden die or struggle to thrive.
- An inexperienced gardener might choose plants that compete with one another for resources, making it difficult for either to thrive.
- You might select plants that all bloom at once and then appear to die, leaving you with a drab looking garden for much of the year.
To avoid these common pitfalls, it’s helpful to make a plan for your garden. You can consult with an experienced gardener, or look for advice online.
Common memorial plants for your garden
If you want to keep your memorial garden traditional, there are lots of plants that are commonly associated with memorials.
The most common memorial plants include: roses, lavender, lilies, and trees including oak, dogwood, and olive. Planting a tree can be a beautiful focal point for your garden, but be aware of how this will grow and expand in the space. While it might take some time to become established, a large oak tree could quickly dominate the space.
Also think about your climate. An olive tree is a beautiful addition to your garden, but it will require special care during the winter months.
Popular plant pairings
It’s a beautiful idea to create a central theme for your garden that focuses on one memorial plant. This could be a tree like a stunning dogwood, or you might choose a fragrant plant like lavender. Next, you can pair this with a plant that complements its beauty, without competing for resources. Our favourite pairings include:
- Lavender and rosemary. This fragrant pairing is hardy and resilient and requires minimal fuss. It’s also a sensory treat that will allow you to enjoy a mindful moment of calm.
- Echinacea and ornamental grasses. Get the wildflower look with long, towering grases and the bright and cheerful pop of echinacea. These are very easy to care for and will attract bees and wildlife to your garden.
- Roses and boxwood. This is a highly traditional look that will allow you the creative challenge of keeping everything in order. Roses require pruning to prevent them from looking unkempt, and boxwood is a creative challenge to ensure it remains shapely.
- Hosta and ferns. This shade-loving duo would be perfect for a partially shaded garden. They’re very hardy and easy to care for, requiring minimal maintenance. Occasional weeding will be all you need to keep your garden looking beautiful.
- Japanese maple and coral bells. This is a great combination of tree cover and ground cover; perfect if you have a large space to fill.
Adding the finishing touches
It’s common to add a tribute plaque or a bench to dedicate the space to your loved one. You could also add something for the wildlife, such as a bird feeder or a bird bath. A bench is a great idea if you want to be able to sit and enjoy the space. Many people will use their garden as a place to sit and talk to their loved one.
For a more extravagant garden, consider a water feature that will invite more wildlife into your home. You might even consider a Japanese style koi pond to create a serene and tranquil space to collect your thoughts.
The finishing touches for your memorial garden will be to create a piece of memorial jewellery that you can take with you. This will give you a grounded space to reflect on your loved one’s life, and a small piece of comfort you can take with you wherever you go.