Why Smell Triggers Grief – and How to Use Scents in Memorials

When you’re grieving, any memory of an individual can trigger a strong emotional response. It’s often unexpected things that serve as triggers, such as seeing their name on your phone, or noticing an item of theirs around your home. For many people, smell also plays an important role in triggering memories and grief.

The role of smell in grief is very interesting to explore. It’s not specifically linked to grief, but rather to memory. And anything that triggers strong memories can unleash a wave of grief. In this guide, we’re looking at how smell can trigger grief, and how you might use this during a memorial to support the grieving process.

How is smell linked to grief?

Smell isn’t really linked to grief, but it is linked to memory. Smells have a huge capacity for triggering emotional reactions due to their links to memories – specifically first memories.

When we smell a familiar smell, the part of the brain responsible for holding on to these memories goes looking for the first time it experienced the smell. This might be linked to positive or negative emotions, depending on what you were feeling at the time. This is why smell can trigger emotional reactions with ease.

Imagine your loved one always wore the same cologne or perfume. You would link this to positive memories of that person, and this would create a link in your mind between the smell and your memories. Now, any time you smell the perfume, you would be reminded of them.

If you are grieving their loss, this will come with the realisation that the person is no longer with us, which will lead to an outpouring of grief. It’s the moment of realisation when you recognise the smell that triggers this wave of emotion.

How can you use this in a memorial?

If you associate certain smells with the individual, there is a good chance that other people have similar memories. Or theirs might be different. For example, someone who only knew the person in a workplace setting might associate their memory with the smell of coffee if they were always the one to fill up the coffee machine.

Using scent in memorials can be hugely rewarding for everyone, as it will also give others a chance to talk about the scents that they associate with the individual. Here are some interesting ways to include scent in the memorial.

Spritz their favourite scent

A spritz of their favourite perfume or cologne around the room will instantly transport people to positive and happy memories of the person. They might not immediately know where they recognise the scent from, which can be an excellent ice breaker for those at the memorial service who don’t know each other.

Food and scent

Food is another powerful source of scent that is also linked to the taste buds. The majority of flavour actually comes from your sense of smell, which is why the smell of certain foods can transport us to different places and different times.

Try cooking up some of your loved one’s favourite dishes for the memorial. This is most effective if you are hosting the memorial in your home, as the cooking smells will spread around the space.

You could also share recipes for their favourite food so everyone can recreate this at home. This will allow them to tap into the power of scent any time they like.

Create a signature candle

Some people have a signature scent in their home that provides a strong link to memory. Anyone who has been in their home will instantly recognise this. It would be a beautiful gesture to offer small candles or wax melts in the same scent so that everyone at the memorial can take this scent home with them.

Scented stationery

You can spread your chosen scent in a much more subtle way by using scented stationery. This would allow you to share your loved one’s favourite fragrance, or use an essential oil that is heavily associated with them. For example, some people always use a lavender shampoo that leaves its scent behind.

Final thoughts on scent and grief

Grief can be an overwhelming emotion, but scent can help to bring us back to positive memories. Using scent in a memorial service is a beautiful and touching way to honour a loved one and to bring everyone together in a collective memory.

People might not immediately know where they recognise a scent from, but this will all come flooding back when they are reminded of this fact. Be wary about going overboard with scent in your memorial, as some people are more sensitive to scents than others. It’s far better to make the scent something optional, as this will also allow those who are overpowered by grief to avoid the added emotional strain.