Rituals and Ceremonies for the Anniversary of a Loved One's Death

The anniversary of the death of a loved one can bring up some incredibly complex emotions. It can be difficult to know what to do during this event, and there’s often a fear of doing the “wrong” thing.

You might feel pulled in lots of different directions. Perhaps part of you wants to pretend it isn’t happening, while another part of you might want to share in your grief. One moment you might want to make a fuss out of the date, and the next you might want to get away from it all and enjoy some solo reflection time.

These are all completely normal emotions and it’s common to feel pulled in every direction. To help you to decide what to do on this special date, we’ve compiled this collection of rituals and ceremonies that can help to bring clarity to your situation.

The importance of rituals and ceremonies

Rituals and ceremonies often have religious and spiritual connotations, but you don’t have to approach them in this context. They are often helpful for supporting individuals as they process their grief.

After a year of grieving, you might start to see milestones as an opportunity to start to wrap things up and let go. Using the first anniversary of their death as an opportunity to scatter the ashes, for example, could help you to start to process your grief in a healthy way.

You might also have superstitions that you believe in. For example, some people believe you need to get rid of the dead person’s clothing by a certain point, or they might become trapped.

Whatever your belief system, there are simply steps you can take to start working through these emotions. Try these rituals and ceremonies on the anniversary of a loved one’s death to help find closure and acceptance.

Scattering the ashes

The first anniversary of your loved one’s death can be an ideal opportunity to part with the ashes. Holding on to the ashes forever can start to make you feel trapped after a while, so it’s a good idea to put a timescale on when you can hold on to them until. A year is a good amount of time to process your grief and give yourself time to decide on the ideal final resting place. If you make this decision too soon, it can leave you feeling rushed.

Make memorial jewellery

If scattering the ashes sounds too final, a great way to make this transition easier is with the help of memorial jewellery. This contains a small amount of the ashes that you can keep with you – at all times, if you wish.

If you are struggling with the idea of letting go of the ashes, this is the perfect compromise. You’ll be able to scatter the ashes and keep a small portion with you at all times. As time goes on, you might find that you don’t need to keep the jewellery with you at all times and might only wear it on special occasions. This progression is an excellent sign that you are moving forward.

Plan a gettogether

It’s been a while since the wake, and everyone will have processed their grief in a different way. It could be a nice time to bring everyone together to share stories about your loved one. This is a great ritual that can pave the way for an annual gathering to reminisce.

It’s not morbid to want to bring everyone together, and it might be hugely helpful to those who feel like they didn’t get to really experience the wake because they were clouded by strong emotions at the time.

Purge their possessions

Holding on to the deceased’s possessions for too long can start to make you feel trapped in your grief. Your home might start to feel like a museum and you might struggle to move on when you are surrounded by reminders. Not to mention, it can take up a lot of room.

It might not be the first year after their death, but perhaps the second or third year when you feel ready to start sorting through their items. Doing this in stages can bring a sense of ceremony to the process. By turning it into a ritual, it feels like a part of their grieving process – and the healing process.

Write them a letter

Writing a letter to the deceased with an update on your life can help you to see just how far you have come. You might feel like the same person, but you will be growing in ways you didn’t recognise before. This can be deeply moving and can help to put your grief on a timeline. Try this ritual every year and you’ll start to see incredible growth in the spaces between the letters.