Coping With The Death Of A Child

The death of a child will always be life changing. No parent wants to think about outliving their child, but for some, this nightmare can become a reality. It’s one of the most difficult life events a person can face, and it can put a strain on every relationship in your life as you struggle to overcome the pain of this loss.

In many ways, you never overcome the loss but instead learn to live with the loss. You are permanently changed in some way, and you’ll notice a difference between the person you were before the loss and after.

In this guide, we’re looking at the resources and support available for grieving parents. They often need specialist support to overcome the loss of a child, and this will often include long-term therapy to cope with the experience.

This is one of life's biggest challenges

The death of a child can be one of the most heartbreaking experiences that no parent should ever have to endure. Nobody should ever have to suffer such a dreadful loss, yet too many families go through this tragedy every day.

The emotional pain that parents feel from losing a child is beyond measure, and it can affect them in ways they may never fully understand. No words can truly express their anguish.

This is why it's important for those around to be supportive and provide comfort in times like this, so these parents don't have to go through such immense sadness alone. No matter what, parents who experience the death of a child will always carry this indelible mark on their hearts forevermore.

Allow yourself to grieve

Grieving is hard, but it's necessary to honour the person or thing that was lost. What's more, you can't rush it; everybody processes grief in their own way and at their own pace.

That's why it's important to allow yourself the freedom to grieve in whatever way feels right for you – even if it means indulging your tears, setting some time aside each day to remember your loss, or pouring yourself into a creative outlet that brings comfort.

Remember that wherever you are on your grieving journey, you have permission to do what feels best for you. This can be hard to navigate when there are other people around you that rely on you for support. But remember that grieving is important, and you need to give yourself the space to process your feelings.

Don't be afraid to ask for help

Everyone needs a helping hand from time to time, no matter how independent or self-sufficient they are. Don’t let fear stop you from reaching out when you need it. Friends and family – the support system that's been with you for years – are ready and willing to lend an ear if you need it.

Professionals, such as psychologists and counsellors, also offer unbiased advice to help with whatever difficulty you may be facing. It can be hard to take the first step, but don’t let fear prevent you from finding the help and support that can get you through the toughest of times.

The person you are speaking to doesn’t have to have direct experience of what you are going through. They don’t have to have all of the answers, they just need to be able to listen to you so that you can process your feelings out loud.

Connect with your other children

Remember that your other children still need your love and support, even though they may not show it in the same way as before. They have also experienced a significant loss, and you will have to put your family back together with a piece missing.

It can be difficult for parents when one of their children is going through a tough period, such as transitioning to adolescence or facing health issues. In these times, it’s important that the other children in the family don’t feel ignored or neglected.

They may not express it in the same way they used to, but it doesn’t mean they still don’t need your love and support – remind yourself of this when you feel overwhelmed by external adversity. Together, as a family unit, you can get through complicated times with all family members respected and taken care of.

Try to find ways to keep your child's memory alive

Keeping a child’s memory alive can be a difficult task when they are no longer with us, but there are many ways to ensure that their spirit lives on. This is also a very healthy way to process grief.

Taking photos of special moments and keeping them in picture frames or albums, saving their art projects, writing down stories that they wanted to share, and gathering mementos from significant events can all help preserve the memory of your child.

It is important to find a way to remember them that works for you as it may help you feel connected to them even in times when they are no longer here. Look for things that make you smile, tell you more about who they were, or just evoke positive feelings – especially when the sadness seems too hard to bear.

Seek out support groups or counselling

If you're feeling overwhelmed and like you've reached your limit, it can be difficult to know where to turn. The thought of reaching out for help can be daunting, but it's important to remember that you don't have to manage your struggles on your own.

Support groups and counselling provide a safe space and are invaluable resources in helping manage your mental health. Connecting with others and discussing your struggles or finding someone who has experienced something similar can be a tremendous source of comfort and understanding.

Don't hesitate to take the necessary steps towards regaining balance in your life and seek out support when needed. Speaking to others who have gone through what you are going through can help you to process your grief in a healthy way. And at the very least, it will help you to feel less alone in the world.

Make peace with your new life

Losing a child changes someone permanently. You’ll never go back to how you were before the loss of your child, but you can move forward and make something with the rest of your time. 

One of the best ways you can honour your child is to live your life well and fill it with the things they may never have been able to experience. You can also give back and support others who are going through this life changing experience.

By making peace with your new life, you can forge a new path forward that will bring meaning and significance to your life. It can be tempting to fall into despair and never climb out, but you owe it to the memory of your child to live an inspiring life – for yourself, and for others who might need your support.

Closing thoughts

Losing a child is one of the hardest things a person can go through. There is no "right" way to grieve, so do whatever feels best for you. You shouldn't be afraid to ask for help from friends, family, or professionals if you need it.

Remember that your other children still need your love and support even though they may not show it in the same way as before. Try to find ways to keep your child's memory alive through photos, stories, and other mementos. This will allow you to process your grief in a healthy way.